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Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Real men need to be needed
I truly believe the type of vibrations you radiate determine the type of people you attract. I won't dance around the subject. I'm tired of hearing, “I don't need a man," from the mouths of my sisters. There's no shame in my game...I need a woman. Life without a woman is not as fulfilling to me as life with one. I need a woman's idealism to balance out my realism. As a realist, I have a tendency to take things as they come and deal with them as they are. Idealists want to see the world as it should be. Idealists help realists have the audacity to dream and work toward its attainment. Realists help idealists distinguish between achievable goals and silly fantasies. This is balance – yin and yang. A woman who needs a man is a perfect complement to a man who needs a woman.
Real men need to be needed by their women. It is a function of male human biology. Men are possessive and protective by nature, and that is not a bad thing, ladies. There is a difference between being controlling and possessive. Men are prone to protect with their lives, if necessary, that which they possess, but are prone to abuse that which they control. A man will not go out on a limb for you if he doesn't feel possessive toward you. Try to get past the language and understand the concept. As mothers, you are willing die in the defense of your own children when they are threatened. They are yours and you are possessive of them. There is nothing negative about that feeling. It is an entirely natural outgrowth of your love. This is how real men feel about their women. We will sacrifice ourselves to protect you from harm, be it physical, psychological or emotional harm. Too many of you associate possession with control, and you can't appreciate this natural manifestation of our love for you.
See ladies, when you go around behaving as if men are a luxury and not a necessity in your life, you give off a vibration that repels real men. However, it does attract some men - boy-like men and stingy men. Boy-like men either fear or loathe responsibility. They're happy to deal with women who don't need them as long as they can get that nut in. They feel no obligation to share in your grief or to lighten your load. They're content to throw money at a problem to free them from having to work at resolving it in a "hands on" fashion. And why should they? You don't need them and will do anything in your power to prove it, which effectively lets them off the hook. Stingy men on the other hand, want you to have you own so they don't have to share theirs with you. What should be a partnership quickly degrades into a "booty call" arrangement with stingy men. Neither of these types of men are emotionally available to you, which sooner or later is going to leave you frustrated and soured on men, in general.
Contrary to the stereotypes, real men seek emotional bonds. We just communicate our needs differently. We don't speak nor understand woman, and you don't speak nor understand man, but when we're both willing to try to understand each other, we can find a common language. When you talk about a problem at work that led to you having a bad day, we feel for you so much that it hurts us sometimes. As men we want to fix the problem; that's what men do. Maybe you just need to talk about it and get it off you chests to feel better, but we need to fix it. We're not trivializing your need to communicate, we're responding to our own need to take action. Simply put, we're wired to respond to the same stimuli differently, but if you take the time to explain that you just need to get it off your chest, we can understand that and accept it. Sometimes it just needs to be spelled out so we can translate woman speak into man.
Finally ladies, I want you to understand that there are few greater manifestations of a man's love for you than his desire to share a domicile with you - to make a home with you. Every other woman before you had to leave his place at some point, or he felt compelled to leave her place. When a man looks forward to coming home to you, to waking up to your face day in and day out, to riding in a car with you for hours, to just having you around him whenever, please know he is not taking your presence for granted. On the contrary, you have been given a place in his life no one else has - unrestricted access to his personal space. Real men need you to need to be in that comfort zone. Allow yourself to need a man and you will attract real men to you. Chew on that...
Real men need to be needed by their women. It is a function of male human biology. Men are possessive and protective by nature, and that is not a bad thing, ladies. There is a difference between being controlling and possessive. Men are prone to protect with their lives, if necessary, that which they possess, but are prone to abuse that which they control. A man will not go out on a limb for you if he doesn't feel possessive toward you. Try to get past the language and understand the concept. As mothers, you are willing die in the defense of your own children when they are threatened. They are yours and you are possessive of them. There is nothing negative about that feeling. It is an entirely natural outgrowth of your love. This is how real men feel about their women. We will sacrifice ourselves to protect you from harm, be it physical, psychological or emotional harm. Too many of you associate possession with control, and you can't appreciate this natural manifestation of our love for you.
See ladies, when you go around behaving as if men are a luxury and not a necessity in your life, you give off a vibration that repels real men. However, it does attract some men - boy-like men and stingy men. Boy-like men either fear or loathe responsibility. They're happy to deal with women who don't need them as long as they can get that nut in. They feel no obligation to share in your grief or to lighten your load. They're content to throw money at a problem to free them from having to work at resolving it in a "hands on" fashion. And why should they? You don't need them and will do anything in your power to prove it, which effectively lets them off the hook. Stingy men on the other hand, want you to have you own so they don't have to share theirs with you. What should be a partnership quickly degrades into a "booty call" arrangement with stingy men. Neither of these types of men are emotionally available to you, which sooner or later is going to leave you frustrated and soured on men, in general.
Contrary to the stereotypes, real men seek emotional bonds. We just communicate our needs differently. We don't speak nor understand woman, and you don't speak nor understand man, but when we're both willing to try to understand each other, we can find a common language. When you talk about a problem at work that led to you having a bad day, we feel for you so much that it hurts us sometimes. As men we want to fix the problem; that's what men do. Maybe you just need to talk about it and get it off you chests to feel better, but we need to fix it. We're not trivializing your need to communicate, we're responding to our own need to take action. Simply put, we're wired to respond to the same stimuli differently, but if you take the time to explain that you just need to get it off your chest, we can understand that and accept it. Sometimes it just needs to be spelled out so we can translate woman speak into man.
Finally ladies, I want you to understand that there are few greater manifestations of a man's love for you than his desire to share a domicile with you - to make a home with you. Every other woman before you had to leave his place at some point, or he felt compelled to leave her place. When a man looks forward to coming home to you, to waking up to your face day in and day out, to riding in a car with you for hours, to just having you around him whenever, please know he is not taking your presence for granted. On the contrary, you have been given a place in his life no one else has - unrestricted access to his personal space. Real men need you to need to be in that comfort zone. Allow yourself to need a man and you will attract real men to you. Chew on that...
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