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Showing posts with label dark skinned. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dark skinned. Show all posts
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Saturday, April 11, 2015
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Hidden Colorism
Remember when light skin
used to be in style?
I don’t
because I never felt I fit the profile.
If I was armless I could count
If I was armless I could count
the number of times
on both hands the frequency
on both hands the frequency
with which I was called “fine.”
You see, Papa was dark skinned,
but Mama had dominant genes,
so me and my sister slid out in between,
but with a heavy lean
so me and my sister slid out in between,
but with a heavy lean
in the direction
of Mama’s complexion.
And not fitting the stereotypes,
I longed to be more his physical reflection –
smooth and brown like chocolate.
of Mama’s complexion.
And not fitting the stereotypes,
I longed to be more his physical reflection –
smooth and brown like chocolate.
But like film negatives,
I was the opposite.
With that said,
the inferiority complex
in my head
was largely sub-con-scious
until a sista on deck
looking to fix up her chicks
pointed out there were no other
light skinned brothas in my clique.
That epiphany was profound.
Had I chosen to surround
myself with homies
all much darker shades of brown
unbeknownst to me?
Even the ladies in my life
except for two
were never bright in hue.
I thought light-skinned girls
had funky attitudes.
When in truth,
it was my attitude that stank.
No one else to thank
for my internal schism.
My reverse colorism
was finally exposed.
A lack of love for my skin color
self-imposed.
I was a walking contradiction.
My sense of self
at an unhealthy juxtaposition.
So I analyzed my pre-teens,
and realized
what I had seen
I internalized.
Where I grew up
light skinned brothas didn’t seem
to get the same respect.
I recognized that disconnect.
The hustlers and thugs
was pulling chicks I couldn’t get.
And unfortunately for me
these kats were disproportionately
more melanin saturated,
reinforcing my self-hatred:
A casualty of internalized
racism with a twist.
Light skin might have been in style
but I didn’t experience it
as a net positive –
evident to me
of just how damaging
white supremacy can be –
demanding hands-on management
of my self-esteem regularly
so I don’t lose myself again…
so I can love me as I am.
-HymnAgen
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